I remember awaking to panic attacks then desperately wishing to go back to sleep forever because any dream or even nightmare was better than facing such an intimidating reality. I remember lying on the floor, unable to get up because my body felt completely numb and my insides felt empty. Then I felt confused, guilty, hopeless, and terrified, all at the same time.
My mom and husband had to drag me out of bed and then take me to dozens of doctors to discuss the details of my diagnosis and our plan of action for treatment. We learned that I had an aggressive form of cancer that would require both surgery (mastectomy) and a regimen of chemotherapy with extremely nasty side effects. I remember crying when I was told that I would be poked with needles on a regular basis and that I would lose all of my hair. Little did I know then that those things would actually be the easy part of my upcoming year. I truly had no idea what I was up against, but I knew that I did not want to die.
On my one year “cancerversary,” I feel so much gratitude towards all my loved ones and friends who supported me as I was going through treatments, and also those who reached out to me afterwards. I wouldn’t have made it without my husband. Barry and my mom were right by my side every single day, my best friends cheered me up with numerous visits, and my baby boy gave me a reason for fighting. Ryan deserves to have a healthy mommy that is here for a long time! So many people have sent me encouraging messages and thoughtful gifts, and others have found various ways of supporting breast cancer awareness in honor of me. Thank you all for your support throughout this crazy year, and I will always remember how special and loved that you made me feel.
This video just made me tear up! You are so strong and have persevered through so much. I love you and can't wait to see you on Sunday!!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou are so amazingly strong! May this year bring you fonder memories!!
ReplyDelete@Karen- Aww! I had a great time seeing you girls yesterday too!! <3
ReplyDelete@Marlowe- Thank you! I am hoping that this year will be more relaxing (at least!) than last year.
Wow, Dana! A great reminder of how much you've gone through, and what a strong, amazing, and beautiful woman, wife, and mother you are! Love you!
ReplyDelete@Erin- Thanks, hun. Love you too!!
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeleteCame accross your site while looking for toddler activities. What an amazing and inspiring women you are. And so much going on when all a mommy wants to do is snuggle her baby.
Hope you get to enjoy all of your beautiful sons.
Helena
@Helena- Thank you for your sweet words! I have been enjoying plenty of snuggle time with both of my boys these days (and loving every minute of it!) I feel very blessed to be where I am today.
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