On January 14, just one week after being diagnosed, I was admitted into the hospital to have a series of tests done, a surgery to insert a port into my chest, and to have my first round of chemo. The port is needed so that they can access my veins easily for drawing blood and giving me medicines, fluid, etc. I honestly don’t remember much about being in the hospital, probably because of all the anesthesia, pain/nausea meds they had me on. I remember coming home and being very weak and sick for about 10 days. I think I experienced a different side effect each day. After that, I just felt extremely tired all of the time, with cold-like symptoms. (I think I actually caught a cold around that time). Although it is hard on my body, I keep reminding myself how fortunate I am to have the option of taking chemotherapy, because it will save my life. There are people everyday who wish that they could take chemotherapy, but it isn't an option for them.
I am so incredibly thankful to have such a supportive family and group of friends. We’ve had several people offer to help out by baby-sitting, bringing us food, or even just leaving me positive messages on my voicemail or email to let me know that they are thinking about me. I am so blessed to have friends that are sincere and encouraging, and really willing to go out of their way to help. My mom took such good care of me during those first days after chemo, I feel so loved and know that I will always be her “little girl”. Barry has gone above and beyond by going to work, running the household, and also taking care of Ryan when I am too sick. He is such a great dad and husband... Ryan and I are very lucky! All of this has truly given me a new perspective on life. I feel so glad for each day that I have, and I can really stop and appreciate all of those little moments that really matter. When I’m with Ryan, I have never felt more grateful and proud of anything in my life. I feel that I have fulfilled my most important goal: to become a mother! Seeing Ryan smile and laugh is what keeps me positive, even when I’m not feeling good. And he is such a happy baby! Although it is never a good time to get cancer, I am so thankful that this happened after Ryan was born (in case the chemo makes me unable to have children in the future, which is a possibility) but while he is still young enough that he won’t remember it and it hopefully won’t affect him. I am also thankful that this happened while my mom is here, giving me so much strength and motivation. There really is a lot to be thankful for, even during these hard times, and I think it is important to focus on the good things instead of the bad.
I'm excited right now because Ryan rolled all the way over, from his back to his tummy, on his own today! Yay Ryan!! Here he is tonight, having baby food for the first time! (green beans… yummy!)
Thank you, God, for blessing me with a loving husband who has patience with me and a healthy baby boy who is just full of his own little personality!