I have been busy enjoying this blessing called life. Simply because I can.
My energy levels have returned to very close to normal, and my days are filled with the excitement of keeping up with a pre-toddler and other mommy responsibilities. I don’t spend hours in front of the computer anymore because I have the energy and health to be active and to do so much more. This is definitely a good thing.
But I have noticed that every time I do sit down to consider writing, my mind goes blank, as if I have nothing to say. I wonder, does it even matter what I have to say? I started this blog as a way of communicating with my family and friends about how I was feeling during treatments. Then, my goal was to reach out to other breast cancer patients and to focus on spreading awareness to young women. I believed that my unique experiences would be useful and helpful to someone out there.
Now that I am no longer a patient in active treatment, I realize that my current life more closely resembles that of a typical young mommy. While I personally love feeling healthy and normal, I wonder if anybody else will care enough to read about my adventures in playdates, mommy and me classes, changing diapers, cooking, and grad school. (Yes, I will be starting fall classes in just three days!)
After much reflection, I came to the realization that it doesn’t matter how many readers I have, or where I rank on the top baby blogs. (Although I do greatly appreciate those of you who vote regularly… thank you!) What really matters are the personal reasons that I write: to express myself, to share my interests, and to document a very special time in our son’s life. This is essentially his “baby book”, since I never filled one out for him. I will later get this blog made into an actual book from Blog2Print. After all, everyone needs baby stories to look back on twenty years from now! I pray that I will still be around then, but whatever the case may be, at least Ryan will be able to read this and know how much I love him with all of my heart. That is my purpose.
I found out that my exchange surgery will be on Wednesday, October 12, which is a lot sooner than we expected. I am so thankful that I have not had any infections and that I have recovered from the worst part of this process. The tissue expanders aren’t exactly comfortable, but at least they don’t hurt anymore.
In addition to having an earthquake and hurricane this week, we still managed to go on several playdates. Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures of all of them except for this one:
When it comes to food, Ryan continues to assert his independence in his high chair. He requires two spoons to eat non-solids, and usually just licks the handles. I wonder how much food he's actually getting in his mouth this way?
He also insists on making the experience as messy as possible, with dinner ending up all over the highchair, floor, himself, the dogs, mommy, daddy, etc. (As you can see from the following pictures of us, he definitely takes after me!)
When we are out and around people, Ryan usually acts very differently than he does at home with just mommy and daddy (and grandparents). Most people see him being shy and cautious. This video is for those of you who don’t believe me when I say that Ryan is energetic and loud…