Thursday, April 7, 2011

Blood Infection plus Chemo equals YUCK!

I got the results back from some recent bloodwork and its turns out that I have another staph infection in my bloodstream.  (This time, caused by my picc line.)  It seems like my body really doesn’t react well to having objects placed inside of it.  They are still planning on giving me chemo #5 tomorrow, but I am on super strong antibiotics that have to be administered through IV.  So I have to be hooked up for about 3 hours each day, while I’m at home, in the hospital, and even when I come back home.  Not to mention that I’ll be experiencing the side effects of Vancomycin now along with the side effects of TAC chemo.  Please pray for me that I will have the strength to get through the next week, because I know that its going to be very rough.

Some days I feel like cancer has stolen so much from me.  I cry every time that I have to kiss my baby goodbye and go receive my treatments.  It’s hard because I feel like I am missing out on the little details of his life.  But I am thankful that my chemo regimen is only for 4 months, and I try to keep reminding myself that this situation is temporary.  I know that other people have to receive treatments for a much longer period of time.  I’m trying to look at cancer as an opportunity to draw closer to God, live with passion, develop a greater appreciation for life, and figure out how I want to spend the rest of mine.     

It’s sad that it sometimes takes the diagnosis of a life threatening disease for people to truly value their healthy lives.  People complain about work, but I wish that my body was strong enough to go to work every day.  People complain about their looks, but I wouldn’t even care, as long as I was healthy.  People complain about their kids being annoying, but I just hope that I’m here to watch mine grow up.  I want to experience every minute of it, even the “difficult” stages.  Money and material possessions seem so much less important to me now.  I just want to grow old with my perfect husband and have a happy family.   

Nobody knows how many days that they have left, and I feel like I have come face to face with my own mortality lately.  I’ve realized that I want to make every single day count.  I want them to be meaningful and exciting and fulfilling.  I will never just “go through the motions” without actually enjoying life again.  I have always liked this song, which is about filling your remaining days with what makes you happy!
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man, whatcha do? And he said...  
I went skydiving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. 
And he said, someday, I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift
And you've got eternity to think about what you’d do with it
What could you do with it?
What did I do with it?

“Live Like You Were Dying” by Tim Mcgraw

That's me skydiving in 2006, conquering my fear of heights!  =)


  1. I miss you, Dana. I hope you feel a million times better. You have such a beautiful soul and I can't wait to see you in little over a month! You're almost done with chemo!! Just keep staying strong <3 I love you!

  2. Dana, good luck today! I'm sorry you have the infection on top of everything else but you are getting sooo close to having this out of your life. I love you and know you can do this! <3

  3. You're right, Dana, that many of us don't appreciate the things we have or the little things we are able to do. Your journey has helped me to realize that I can't be one of those people, and that there are a lot of things I just can't complain about! Thank you for that!


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