Friday, February 11, 2011

Glad This Week is Over!

Some people think that the worst thing about cancer is either: 1. the moment that you find out you have it;  2. losing all of your hair; or 3. getting the chemotherapy.

Its not.  The worst thing (for me) is managing the side effects the week AFTER chemo.  The two days that I spend in the hospital while receiving chemo and immediately after are relatively easy compared to how it feels once I come home (days 3 through 7 = nightmare).  After that comes the extreme fatigue, which is there the whole time, until it’s time for the next chemo treatment.  I guess every chemo drug combination is different, but the TAC regimen certainly lives up to its evil reputation!

My three best girl friends: K, E, and J, visiting me
at the hospital for my second round of chemo.
(I took this with my iphone).  Love you girls! <3
Anyways, I had some very special visitors come to see me at the hospital last weekend.  Thanks to my three best girl friends, Aunt G, Aunt S, my mom, and of course Barry… I felt so loved and cared for!  I enjoyed catching up and gabbing with the girls… definitely the highlight of my week!  Thank you all for making time in your busy schedules for me!  And thanks to J, for traveling all the way down from Ohio!

I also received a beautiful blanket that was made “for a special person” by a teacher and her students, and they chose me to be that person!  I remember just last year when I was teaching, the students at my school collected “pennies for patients”.  Its amazing how when you are on the other side of it and everything is normal, you never would expect that to be you.  Life can completely change in a single moment, and that is true for anyone.  Two years ago at this time, I never would have suspected that both my mom and I would be tragically fighting cancer.  It definitely forces you to grow up fast.  But on the good side, I also wouldn’t have expected to have a beautiful baby boy who is just too perfect for words!  Ryan made his first attempts at crawling this week.  I can’t believe it!  He is becoming so alert and playful these days.  Just seeing my precious boy can change my entire mood in an instant.  He will be five months old on Monday (Valentine’s Day).

I was so thankful to spend some quality time with my mom the past two days.  She is slowly but surely recovering from her treatments, and seems to be feeling stronger each day.  I hope and pray that her next PET scan shows reduction of the cancer on her liver… she has fought so hard for such a long time, she deserves some time of feeling good!  I love and respect her more than anyone in the world.  If she can fight for two whole years (as of this April), I can at least fight through these next six months of chemo and surgeries.  Of course, I have my moments of weakness.  It is extremely hard to bear the constant worry about my mom and my own struggles at the same time.  But in the end, I know that nothing will change this situation and I have no choice but to just keep going.  It is a difficult and emotional journey, but at least we have each other to get through with, and that is a blessing in itself.  I'm just so glad she's here with me!

Tomorrow I will shave my head. lol.  I never would have thought in my life that I would type that sentence!  I’ve been a girly-girl with somewhat long, blonde hair since I was four years old!  I am surprisingly okay with it though (at this point).  I feel like I have been mentally preparing myself for a while.  Besides, anything is better than this ugly “boy” haircut that I have right now, and its shedding everywhere.  I will think of it as a clean start, and I can have fun with scarves, wigs, and hats for a few months.  But I can assure you that as SOON as my hair starts to grow back this summer/fall, I will be VERY eager to have long, blonde hair again!  =)  

1 comment:

  1. We had so much fun visiting! You are such an incredible, strong, and brave person. And you are so beautiful that shaving your head won't change a thing - except for expanding your accessory collection with some new stylish finds :) I LOVE you and will see you soon! And I'm SO glad your mom is getting stronger each day <3


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